BEREAVEMENT PROGRAM FOR THE COMMUNITY

DEAR FRIENDS, COLLEAGUES IN THE N-G-O MOVEMENT,

While attempting to understand why my son departed for the other
world, I began to mull over how I had carried myself during the
grieving period. I found out that I felt very much alone, trying to
sort out my feelings. I went to different places, most of all to the
columbary garden to be with my son, but only I was the one talking,
and I have to think hard how he would answer me back.

I felt pain in my belly, as if he was still there, trying to squeeze
himself out of my ovary when I was carrying him still to go out into
this world.


The memory of the Kalinga, the Tiboli, the Tingguian, the
Maguindanaons that I met, and all the indigenous groups that I had
met, they seemed to have been very strong in facing life and death.
why because all the things that an individual goes through is
collectively experienced, meaning to say, the people are there to help
the individual go through the various phases of life.

And so I came up with this bereavement program.And so bereavement
becomes a welcome experience, becomes not a feared experience.

Hence, I would like to suggest that the Dept of Social Welfare and
Development provide a  BEREAVEMENT PROGRAM with a budget that will be
implemented in every barangay.


It will contain the following topics to be explored:

1. SECTORS INVOLVED - barangay, dswd, communities, ngo's operating in
the area, business concerns

2. A. FAMILY INTERVENTION -- definitely, for the urban and rural poor,
family intervention is important,  especially when there are children
left behind.

My family is lucky because the children are schooling in institutions
that have built-in counseling programs.

  B. COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT
The barangay should send a representative to inquire what kind of help
the bereaved need -- funds, candles, prayer-leading, etc. The presence
of the barangay rep is very much important to show that within that
environment, there are people who care to help the bereaved carry on
life in this world.

.
    SCHOOL INVOLVEMENT -- the principal and the teachers must greet
the child-in--bereavement. Everyday, the counselor must be there to
help the child process the feelings, why the dead is gone.



  AGENCY INVOLVEMENT -- other agencies to get involved are the DILG to
provide help so that the bereaved can secure the pensions from
government institutions, banks, and other benefits from the savings of
the dead, etcetera, or the inheritance, whatever, without delay.

Someone must accompany the bereaved as he/she goes through these problems.


  III. BUDGET

  A. Prayers:-- from the time of the funeral, up to burying, up to the
40th day, the barangay must help find prayer support for the family.
They must advance the help because usually the family is grieving and
cannot find the right directions to get help.

  B.Repatriation and Funeral Services -- if the departed is coming
from abroad, the barangay must be informed of the incident and so
would help the family get to the airport to collect the body, help the
family go through the voluminous paperworks needed and help the family
transport the body to the funeraria or the home of the family. the
barangay should also be ready with ample financial help to get these
things done.

  C. Interment or In-urnment -- this is up to the family to decide.



 First 45 days
  1I. ACTIVITIES3.
  A. Prayers - ecumenical
    priest/imam
    prayer books
    snacks
It is possible that the family dead wants an ecumenical service and
so, the barangay should help to realize their wishes.

    candles -- the barangay should have ample storage of candles,
prayer books and incense that can be used during the wake. The
community can help with the snacks and merienda for visitors.

The barangay must be able to provide the  casket, flowers, autograph
books for the family, especially if they come from the poor sectors of
society.
        singers -- The barangay must ready singers as music is an
important part of the funeral.

 The barangay should provide transport such as jeepney rides to help
the beraved get to the garden or the cemetery to bury the departed.

Masses for the dead should be part of the preparations and
implementation of the helpo for the bereaved. The priest must be able
to speak in English or Pilipino.

   After the burial, a regular Counsellor should be assigned to visit
the family everyday for the first 40 days, then gradually, reduce it
to three times a week the next six months, and once a week the next
six months. the Counsellor shall make sure that saying prayers with
candles every night is followed during the first 45 days.

The presence of the Counsellor gives a continuity in the minds of the
bereaved that there is someone who fully understands their grief from
the first moment up to a year. In this way, the bereaved or family
will find meaning and purpose in living again without the departed.

The Counsellor should also provide new directions in the life of the
bereaved -- such as schooling, having a small business to help them
tide over their needs -- if they feel lost, what other supports are
available that the government can give.

The following need special counseling: a. spouse; b. children


    e. Activities to be done once counsellor leaves
 Prayer and spiritual books are to be left with the beareaved