MESSAGE FOR WOMEN ENTERING COLLEGE

To Andrea and all other women high school graduates entering college:

First of all you must ask yourself, “Am I comfortable being a woman?” Yes, Andrea, you must admit that you are a woman, that you are proud to be one and that you know your rights as a woman. Why do I say that? So many college students enter college and yet are not sure if they are a woman or some other gender. So they hang out with those people who would not validate their existence but use them for their own ends. They want to validate their own selves through you. But it comes doubly difficult for you because you are made to be a crutch for another without your consent. And should you consent, you have done so without full knowledge of what you are going through with them. I will expound on this later.

Secondly, college work is highly different from high school. You may not have the same classmates at all of your subjects. Much of the time, you will be on your own studying. So cultivate the best habits of studying. Go to the library and find out how to search for books that will help you in your studies and assignments.

Learn how to read books, not just textbooks. Textbooks are easy to read because they are really meant to be learned by students. But other books could be supplementary to the textbooks. So familiarize yourself with how a book is written – from cover to cover. First of all, it has a title page. a table of contents and chapters. The first would give you the author and at the back of that page, will tell you if the book is worthwhile reading or is passé already, i.e. its contents having been surpassed by current books. Always check the year it was published.

Books do not have to be read from page one to the end. You may jump from page one to page 50 or some other number. If it is fiction, you may want to delay the knowledge of how the story ends. But if it is essay, you are free to roam around the various chapters of the book.  Now, its table of contents will tell you the broad coverage of the subject matter that the author has undertaken. So from there, you will also read those topics that you like best to read first.

Know how to look at the theme of each chapter in a book. At first glance, you might think that the chapter is just a bunch of words and sentences. But once you really read through it a few times, you will be able to see how the author thinks. First of all the author could be writing deductively – starting from a general premise or general idea, then proceeed to smaller ideas that beef up or bolster the general idea. On the other hand, the author could be writing inductively – starting from smaller ideas and then ending on a general idea.

Learn to take notes, writing them on your notebook as you read along so that you will see how the author progresses in convincing you about his or her ideas.

Thirdly, learn to chat with your teachers and classmates about the subject.. See among your teachers who are available for discussions or a session of clarification of the subject afterwards. In this manner, what bothers you about what has been learned during the class you could clarify later on with them.

Some teachers are not that sociable. Don’t mind it if they do not want to discuss with you. If you are still in the first month of the semester or trimester, you might be able to transfer to another teacher. Check with the registrar or your adviser what is best. (Usually a froshie, i.e., first year student has an adviser, someone you can lean on during difficult times in college.) If you are not able to transfer, then try engaging your classmates to help you, or if there is a student council in the university, ask them to put up a counseling kiosk where you can refer our problems on your subject. Usually there are senior students who like to volunteer their services in those kiosks.

College life is replete also with extra curricular activities. Get into those that will hone your talents and skills. Some people will tell you that by joining, you will meet your future husband. That is the worst reason for joining one. At this time, meeting a future husband is not a priority for you. You still have three or four more years to finish you degree. So getting involved emotionally could drain you and make you feel weak to face your studies.

So choose carefully the group that you want to join after your regular classes. This should not be one that will suck you dry of your time and effort. Some students join a group because they are bored with their studies; sometime later, they are more involved in these extra curricular activities than with their studies. Insist to your friends that your priority is your course, not the extra curricular activities.

Also, ask your self, do you really like the course that you have chosen? Who chose it for you, your parents, your friend, or some other person? It is important to choose what you really like, because if you like your course, you will be encouraged and always will feel excited doing your assignments.

How do you know if you like your course? Find out what jobs would be available for you once you graduate from it. Pick the one that will give you the job that you will enjoy doing for the rest of your life, if possible. Remember to engage in music as it will make any effort you do easier, your tasks lighter. And of course, don’t forget to laugh heartily. A good sense of humor, especially with friends who have the same,  will always tide you over the bumps of life.

Knowing you are a woman means that your body is different from that of a man, that you have your ups and downs every month – i.e., menstruation that certain traditional notions of being a woman could pull you down.

1. Your body is different from that of a man,. This spells a great deal when dealing with a man. A man could feel the urge to make love with you but you don’t want to. But because you were brought up to think that men should be followed then you go through the motions of being “acceptable” to him.